It is an eerie and poignant feeling to eat with a coffin at one’s back, a last supper with the dead, but it made sense. So much of my Chinese family’s world revolves around the dinner table and Nainai was such a grand cook, what better way to see her from this world to the next than with a meal?”

These were words written by my husband in 2003 documenting the passing of my 84 year old grandma in China. Strangely enough, all memories came back last night, when a close friend of mine lost her mother yesterday at age 99. We did exactly the same thing, we gathered, a small group of friends, each of us brought food. We sat around, ate, and drank some fine French wine, talked about our earliest memories of our own mothers. Frequently, there would be a phone call of condolence that broke the pace, then we all returned to the topic, then we drifted away to talk about Kate Blanchard’s performance at the Kennedy Center and babies. We talked about how miracles happened that on that same day, my 1 year old baby looked at me in the eye, and called me “Mama” for the first time. We simply had a good time.

I wondered if we should feel guilty for having a good time when someone just died? Then I decided, no! It was the right thing to do, to celebrate the passing of a beautiful life one year short of a century. And that is ok with Chinese culture, and that’s alright by me.

I learned when Grandma passed away. There are two most important celebrations in Chinese life – the red celebration and the white celebration. The red one is the wedding and the white one is the funeral for people who lived longer than 80 years. The commonality of the two? – family and friends gathering around lots of good food and good wine! The only difference is in color. A Chinese bride wears all red, and everything is decorated red, as red color will fend off any evil spirits. (I know, I know, all the young Chinese brides today wear white. don’t get me started on the diminishing Chinese cultural traditions!) A white funeral is celebrating the end of long life, a person leaves the world in white, as pure as he or she entered the world.

In the end, both weddings and funerals celebrate the glory of life.

Short of that, I can list my favorite places to shop (window shop) for modern art:

- Shanghai: Moganshan 50, a trendy art district. Visit Shanghart, Eastlink, Island 6 galleries. Also, MOCA Museum, and Shanghai Art Museum are not to be missed.

- Beijing: Dashanzi Contemporary Art District (aka 798). An old factory that was turned into an artists’ colony. Visit Xindong Cheng, Long March, etc.

- Also Beijing: Cao Chang Di art district, a newer art gallery area close to 798. Visit Pekin Fine Arts, Urs Meile, Three Shadows, China Archives and Warehouse.

After these visits, you can consider going to Dali in Yunnan Province, to visit those working in private villas by Lake Erhai.

When I landed at Beijing airport and turned on my iPhone, the first text message popped up:
AT&T Free Msg: International data rate of $19.97/MB applies. Unlimited domestic data rate plan does NOT apply in this location.

I thought to myself, well, I am just checking a couple of emails and I don’t usually open those attachments, so how expensive can that be? So, I stupidly kept the roaming function ON for just the next 3 days. The usage charge for that month, which used to average a few cents every month, came to $350.

So, when in China. turn off your iPhone data roaming function. I found this link offering some very practical advice. http://forums.wireless.att.com/cng/board/messageboard.id=international&message.id=10365#M10365

Here’s a summary of what to do with your iPhone when traveling to China:
Turn Data Roaming “OFF”: Be sure to download and install the latest version of iPhone software from iTunes. By default, this setting for international data roaming will be in the “OFF” position.
To turn data roaming “ON/OFF” tap on Settings>General>Network>Data Roaming
Utilize Wi-Fi Instead of 3G/GPRS/EDGE: Wi-Fi is available in many international airports, hotels and restaurants to browse the web or check email.
Turn Fetch New Data “OFF”: Check email and sync contacts and calendars manually instead of having the data pushed to your iPhone automatically. This way you can control the flow of data coming to your iPhone.
To turn off the Auto-Check functionality tap on Settings>Fetch New Data, change Push to “OFF” and Select to Fetch Manually
Consider Purchasing an International Data Package: Purchasing an international data package can significantly reduce the cost of using data abroad. AT&T now offers four discount international data packages. The 20 MB package is $24.99 per month, the 50 MB package is $59.99 per month, 100 MB package is $119.99 per month, and the 200 MB package is $199.99 per month. See att.com/worldpackages for details and international roaming rates.
Reset the Usage Tracker to Zero: When you arrive overseas access the usage tracker in the general settings menu & select reset statistics. This will enable you to track your estimated data usage.
To reset Usage Tracker to Zero tap on Settings>General>Usage>Reset

Mei, “That depends on what you goal is. What do you want to achieve? What is your goal?”

SOF, “To make money!”

Mei, “Hummm, tell me why that’s so important for you?”

SOF, “well, last time when I was in Beijing, I went to a dinner with my father to entertain a retired chief of China’s Central Bank. He was driving a Nissan, which couldn’t have cost more than 50,000 RMB. I felt really sorry for him. There is such huge difference between being in power and not being in power. I am sure when he was the central banker, he was surrounded and served by tons of people. So, I decided that being a government official is not what I wanted in life. Making money is the best way to go.”

Mei, “ Why do you think a PHD would help you get closer to your goal of making money?”

SOF, “I plan to go back to China to work in transportation engineering. Those are all government projects. So, I have to be chosen by someone in power to win those projects. I believe they would choose the ones with a good resume, good degree from one of the well known schools.”

Mei, “Well, let me tell you what. PHD is probably a long winded way to get to your goal of making money. Being someone who has a good degree from one of the famous school (yes, I do have a Harvard MBA), I know, a good degree might help to open the door for you. But whether you make money or dirt inside the door is entirely dependent on who you are and what you can deliver. “

The snap shot might only provide a snap shot of our conversation, which I am sure didn’t help his decision making. But, it had a huge effect on me. I couldn’t stop asking myself, what’s wrong with me? Just becoming too old fashioned or has money sucked the air of China’s next generation?

Skip Hong Kong if you have limited time. You can always swing by on your next business trip.

Don’t do the Yangtze River Cruise unless it’s absolutely your thing. Too much time spent on board with hundreds of other western tourists, eating hotel food. Why come to China to do that?

Come back to my post to read about what to do if you have 3 days in Beijing and more

As a general statement, let me just say that we were TOTALLY pleased with the services that WildChina provided us through the efforts of Jenny, Stuart and our driver (I’m sorry to say I’ve forgotten his name). Should we have the need and opportunity, I would heartily recommend your business to other friends and travelers. In fact, we already had referred a couple folks to Jenny who were a part of a TaiChi group we joined in Beijing following our trip to the Guilin area. I would look forward to working with your people again if we should have the good fortune to be able to return to China in the future!
Sincerely,
Rik Flynn

“About China and the air quality in Beijing I think your statement “Loved the energy there, but worried about the air quality” sums up the problem. I believe it is this energy (human energy) that is creating, in part, the sources of air pollution. In other words to improve air quality this energy must be directed towards environmental friendly chores that is by their nature are less rewarding financially on the short term. This would not be acceptable for a population that is trying to improve their lots in life after so many years of poverty and lack of opportunities. Does this makes sense? You tell me.”

My husband labels me as a “patriotic Chinese” and I generally stay away from commenting on politics. But, for air quality, I do want to give my travel advice: If you are going to Beijing and Shanghai, go in the Fall (or Spring as second choice). I was in Beijing in July just before Olympics last year, and then again August this year, the air difference was night and day.  On the recent trip, I took my  kids out for walks to my favorite Ritan Park by the Friendship Store in Beijing at 5am (jetlag), and I couldn’t breathe! 5AM, it’s supposed to be the cleanest air of the day! Either my memory of lovely Beijing eluded me, or the air seriously deteriorated. Fall is the only time when you see crisp blue skies occasionally in Beijing. In the Spring, sometimes you can run into serious sand storms that turn the sky black.

To my friends comment, here is my response:

I can’t agree with you more on the energy vs. air quality tug and pull. The sad thing is, most of the people I know there are oblivious to it, precisely as you said, making money is more important. There are some friends who already have money, they are very pessimistic – oh, there is no hope, so why bother, just go live overseas. Then, there are the few who are dedicated to conservation, they care and want to do good, but their voices are often muted by the tide.

Breakfast: All major hotels in China provide a mix of Chinese and Western dishes. You can easily find bacon and eggs, or corn flakes and yogurt at breakfast buffet table. The situation changes immediately if you are headed towards any cities lesser known than their provincial capitals. For example, in the panda nature reserve I visited near Xi’an, I was served 4 dishes of cold and spicy salads, a bowl of Zhou (very watery rice porridge), a couple of steamed bread. In situations like this, my goes for his default backup-
White Rice –available at every single Chinese restaurant, and the cheapest solution. Usually costs less than RMB4 (US$0.5)/bowl.

Lunch: One of the things that frustrate me most at WildChina is that our local guides still insist on serving a HUGE 8 course meal for lunch, regardless of how much we tried to change that. This is true for most foreign visitors, alarmed by how big those lunches are. Only on hiking trips, are we able to really change things around and provide only sandwiches and chilled drinks. If you are traveling on your own, go for local noodle soups and dumplings. Those are tasty and more than sufficient for lunch. My son would touch any of the Chinese dishes, despite the fresh green beans, broccolis, and noodle soups, he opts for –

McDonalds Happy Meals. Yes, McDonalds is practically around every major corner in Beijing, and widely available in all provincial capitals. In fact, KFC is even more successful than McDonalds, because most Chinese finds KFC more similar to Chinese tastes. That said, KFC also made some amazing localization in their menu. For example, they serve youtiao (fried dough) and Zhou (the watery rice porridge I mentioned above) on their breakfast menu too! My son was happy with McDonalds’ chicken nuggets, but didn’t like any of the toys, since they are local toys based on Japanese or Korean figures. My daughter on the other hand, LOVED those RMB10/piece Hello Kitties.

Dinner: Dinner in China is a big deal, particularly with guests. All the meals that I went to served on average 20 dishes on the table! I don’t remember any dish being completely finished off. Quite a bit wastage. In Yunnan, it’s wild mushroom season – enough reason for me to travel there just for the mushrooms. My son didn’t even taste any of that, instead, his grandfather went to fetch him a –

Pizza from Pizza Hut every single day. Yes, Pizza Hut also made successful entries into China. Although the restaurants are all regarded as high-end places that are 50% empty at all times. If you go in there to order a pizza, they ALL tell you that it’s a 17 minutes wait time for the pizza to cook. I bet their management drilled this sentence into every server’s mind. So, my dad would call the Pizza hut that’s right next door to the Carrefour Supermarket, then take a 20 minutes round trip walk to bring back dinner for his grandson. The 乳酪大汇 (rulao dahui) on a round dish is the same as a regular crusted cheese pizza here. It costs RMB 76 ($11) for a 12 inch pizza.

After all grandpa’s effort. My son made the conclusion in the end: America is better than China because there is clean air and youtube here. What can I say?

Well, glad I put away that silly bias of mine, and enjoyed a great show tonight. My 6 year old boy is a die-hard fan of Kungfu Panda. So being a good mother, I took him to the Shaolin Kungfu Show at the Red Theatre.

The show’s choreography, stage production, sound production are all of international quality. The performers’ Kungfu are at par with the real kungfu show at the Shaolin Temple itself. For any of Kungfu Panda’s young fans, this is a must see in Beijing. Here are a few logistical details:

The show is on at the Red Theatre daily at 7:30pm. You can buy tickets at the door or online. If you are a WildChina client, this show is recommended to families traveling with children. But, I would even suggest adding this to anyone who’s coming to China for the first time.

The pump itself is not that heavy. I have a 7 yr old Medela pump, which doesn’t work too well, but that’s beside the point.  The biggest logistically challenge is Power.  China is on a 220 voltage system, while the US is based on 110. So, if I plug this pump into a hotel power socket, I can blow the engine.

 Three solutions to this:  

1. Buy an adaptor that says: Input -220VAC, Output-9 or 12VDC. (most breast pumps operate with 12 VDC max). You can find these online in the US. Found this one on Amazon. The cost seems right, $7.15. But need to check if it’s exactly the width of the plug to make sure it fits the pump.  At this stage, I am leaving in 2 days. This is not an option.  There are tons of such plugs for sale cheaply in China. So, don’t sweat if you are as late as me.
2. Bring a car charger/plug as this one, which costs $30.  This is a very handy thing to have,  particularly if you are traveling to remote areas into the lovely ethnic areas of Yunnan, or the Panda nature reserves where I am going. They are universal, and can be used back home in the US as well.
3. Rent one in China? This is not quite an option yet. Chinese pharmacies don’t carry the item. I checked the Beijing United Family hospital website, and didn’t find them offering pump rental service.  Having been a patient of theirs, I know they would have these equipment in the hospital, but will have to call or wait till I get there to find out.  This hospital is the largest English speaking hospital in China, but they only have locations in Beijing, Shanghai, Guanzhou and Wuxi. So, won’t help you again if you are traveling to rural areas.
4. Buy one in China? Actually, this will be very hard to achieve! So, not really an option.

In traditional Chinese culture, mothers nurse their children. Now-a-days, there are also a lot of working mothers. So, many of my Chinese friends wean their children at around 3 months, which is the usual length of maternity leave. Then the child is handed to grandma for care on formula. Only the very rich or the very poor continue to nurse till the baby is 1 or 2 yrs old. The very rich can afford either to be stay home moms, or buy a pump from overseas. The very poor are still farming, so they lug their babies to the field. To them, it’s the cheapest way to raise the child, since they don’t have money to buy formula.  

I am lucky enough to settle on the best option – secured a loaner from my ex-McKinsey colleague.